Chaos

twee milligram

kalmeer paniek

na slaap                     

waar gedagtes

speel

met tienerfantasieë

Hy wil nie

En hý wil

En sy wil

die wil breek

van Aries

haar planete voorspel

haar ma was reg

twee word meer

en almal se paranoia

speel gedagtes in  ‘n slaap

waar tieners

oordeel

soos die samelewing glo

‘n geliefde

en vreemdeling ma word een

geen ouderdom tel

en almal voorspel

al wil sy nie hoor

die wêreld is klein

Hopeloos

te klein

die fokken slet

verloor haar hoop

droom wettig medisinaal

van ontvlugting

sistematies vermy ‘n nagmerrie

-hierdie een-

Onsin

of geluk?

(pa se kind)

W U R G

Ek het jou gaan bêre

op ‘n plek anderkant hier

Ver van die aanraking van herinnering

Terug in die gedagte van vraagteken

wat antwoordloos wonder

Ek het jou gaan bêre

verby die chaos

van frustrasie

Ver agter misverstande

wat vretend verniel

Ek het jou gaan bêre

terug in ‘n lewe van saai

waar verveling tronkstraf forseer

op daaglikse geluk

Ek het jou aanraking gaan uitvee

Die gladde streel van jou vel

gaan vergeet

En gevoelloos

die keuse gemaak

wat ons nie verdien nie

Ek het jou gaan weggooi

uit die wonderwerk van eenheid

Gestamp tot teen die afgrond

wat ons vlymskerp skeur in twee

Ek het my woorde gaan begrawe

van pure uitputting

My hoop vermoor

Ek moes jou bitter ver gaan bêre:

Want ons was besig om voorspelbaar

soos dié woord

Te versmoor

circle of events

from roads traveled back to roald dahl
from kindness back to karoo
from gems to stones back to treasures cherished
from faux to fur back to running with wolves
from suicide back to sylvia plath
from drumming between her legs back to djembi
from friends to lovers back to friends
from strangers back to shawn phillips
brings shaun back from a rebirth
from balkan to unknown roots of former lives
enhanced by sounds inside this room
from no sense to non sense back to some sense
from come to daddy to me
to butterfly back to dragonfly

this one runs too close to the stone of rose
this fear won't close
this circle

Dying

we make them

we break them

we take them

we shake them

~ and her Buddhist prayer flag

caught a throat ~

The horrible guilt

of being trapped

in a decision.

My karma will lower my status,

bring her a higher one –

where only love shall fill her

peaceful harmony

and they say we have to be Strong to do this.

as if they fucking know it all.

Life so badly turns a full circle

it’s scary.

The desolation of events

from Karoo to Karoo...

screams

as I reluctantly wash her off my hands.

nameless poem

she lost her feather

and the bird fell

off the branch

Trapped herself once again

with choices,

commas and semicolons

shouldn’t be

Some things can never be

-stop apologising-

-you worry too much-

there was an honest ease in innocence

and a dangerous urgency that sucked

all pain away from memory

Moonstarsplit

Away 

a half a moon

is hanging

in a heavy sky

and far apart

a single star

plays solitaire

with empty space

she finds herself

unexpectedly

alone

-game over-

all the others gone,

laid neatly aside.

.

.

her marble hovers in a hole

Half Moon           stuck

watches

but doesn’t see

‘cause his curve of eye

is turned away

towards the sun

while she is stuck

in an eternity

eternity

eternity

eternity

dis stil

Rustig

Oggend

almal slaap

maar kalmte hang slegs

omkring my skreeu

wat vasgevang

in vel en been

probeer ontsnap

Buddha glimlag oë toe

bied haar lotus vrede aan my

ek asem karma in

tot diep in die oer

dis stil

‘n Nuwe dag

word skreeuend stil

Want jy is Stil

doodstil