Liefdes

soms voel sy hoe die liefde oorweldig isoleer
van alle kante af met tronkstraf konfronteer
doelgerig met ondersoekende natuur
intensie bipoler beinvloed elke uur

soms wil sy slegs asemhaal
nie meer onophoudelik smag of slaan
nie hierdie waansin wat besit neem
probeer uit 'n sisteem te ween

soms wil sy die eenvoud vashou
sodat gewurgte benoud
nie meer die wese beheer
maar dan besef sy opnuut

hoe die liefde dit keer

For a friend

Random thoughts @ Hedwig’s

Her heart holds the world and the world holds her heart

Three Scotties cuddle up in one hairy box

She is a celebrity in her neighborhood and her neighborhood is her celebration

Peace and quiet sustain

She has an old fashioned retreat for the weary traveler

 Haar koppie versameling is ‘n kunswerk op sy eie

 She knows how to thank and how to give

 Hedwig has a horny hadeda

 Compassion carries in her teardrop

 Fireplace freedom returns calm in flames

Gee buitengewoon baie om

  Has notes

Black-eyed-Susan’s trillion eyes stare silently through her warm kitchen window

 Vye verrimpel in die pot

Flirts gently

Sy vertroos verlies van ‘n veertien-jarige met jong groen loof

 Has an endless supply of food from her fridge for all

May images capture the words that elude me... 

Cry

Cry:         to utter sounds of grief or suffering

                to shed tears

                weep

                to shout

                to utter a characteristic call (of an animal)

                to utter loudly

                to announce publicly

                a shout, scream or wail

                a fit of weeping

                the call of an animal

                an entreaty

                appeal

                altogether different

Weep:  to shed tears from an overwhelming emotion

                to mourn or grieve

                to exude

                dripping or oozing liquid

               

                I’ve heard many cries

                none of these describe

yet how do I describe the sounds of your voice as you carried him to his grave and only I knew why you broke and shed those tears. I heard the sound before words could reach anyone and could only touch you with one hand hold your pain in my own memory and stir the warmth of life back into your soul. I’m sorry, never realised how badly the deed touched your soul my love. You are the one who mean the world to me. Please forgive. No words will find your weeping that day as I weep today

“wailing sounds of grief altogether different oozing liquid to mourn what was almost lost” or what is lost depending on our view             

                

nieu bethesda roadblog

De Doorns en ‘n storie van haar kwassie en die omie se glimlag met die ryp en koue wat sny. Sy tannie voor en agter en maak Jacobs koffie verniet want eintlik skink sy wyn. Bo die wasbak drapeer lang swart gotiese fraiings met krale delikaat die uitsig op haar berge. Hier rus my pa se siel. Fluit en tjello lei my veilig verby back to my roots in die harde skerp karoo.

Skerp lig vars lug. Dankie dat jy luister jy neem my pyn sê sy. Dis hard en koud en grys en die horison eindeloos vêr. Soveel woorde is deur hierdie grond gesluk soveel trane binne toe gedrup. Hier is dorings. Geen wolke geen wind geen druppels wat die trane verdun. Hulle noem dit inderdaad die vallei van verlatenheid.

By die kleinhuisie koffiekan en dik water skree wholesome Aberdeen en wildspastei soos net die ware tannies kan. Dust hangs just. ‘n Skepper se berg se rand lyk asof sy hand die klippe gepak het en asof die dunste bries ‘n val gaan tuimel. Hier is kaal bome en ‘n verskeurde familie. Tussen ruïnes vol vervloë verhale wat saggies eerie fluister as jy ingaan. Kan die tragedie weer kalmte en eenheid bring skree my siel terwyl die uitsig na berge deur vervalle mure my bekoor.

It feels like my insides have been ripped out I’ve never experienced such pain he just wanted peace and to get away from all the fighting ween sy in haar hande. Sit die heeldag in die kerkhof en wag dink smag. ‘n Broer se geheime word deur plattelandse nuuskierigheid getrek soos nat gekoude biltong uit ‘n suigeling se mond. We’ll remain after everything’s been washed away by the rain.

“ Today the weather didn’t fool me” begin my nuwe boek. Iets uitdagend aan die eerste bladsy van ‘n nuwe storie. “Perhaps people are pieces of chaos on top of the disorder they enclose and perhaps that explains them”.

Dalk is die lug ‘n onderstebo see soos hy sê en ons almal loop eintlik op ons koppe. Kyk ek na die huidige horison  kan die wolke my dit laat glo. Hul skuim in bolle op die berg en ons sit vasgeklamp aan die vallei hier onder vas. Salig onbewus van die see bo ons kop waarin ons eintlik verdrink. Ek staan op my kop om seker te maak en ja wragtag dit hang alles af van persepsie en nie van woorde wat society koppel aan konsepte. Bo of onder hemel of hel see of lug. Ek spikkel maar voort in ‘n skepper se materie en probeer die chaos orden in iets wat vir my sin maak en jy?

 Jy dink die kop is mal. Sy het haar varkies verloor. Watter varkies? Stop. Doodstop. Punt. Everybody hurts sometimes. Hold on let me go. When she’s a little girl and nothing wrong sing verskeie se klanke woorde wat verwar. There’s no way to explain all that we’re saying when we say suffering.

Hy lê ses voet onder die koue grond. Dis koud tot in die been. Werklik of bloot my siel se bevrore staat? Dalk ‘n afstand wat vries...

Blog bomb

Blinde man

jou glimlag maak op vir die oë

wat nie kyk nie,

wel sien

Is dit juis as gevolg daarvan?

die kinkel in jou roete

benader jy met soveel vertroue

in jouself -

as ek maar net die draai van my pad

met soveel dapperheid kon aanpak

Stanford

‘n straatlig se geheime glans

berge se misterieuse trans

agtergrondstemme in die volmaandans:

dis Stanford

en dis stil,

afgesonder

ver van al die chaos

pyn

tragedie

hulpelose stoei na niks

die uil hoe hoe weemoedig wys

geen kaggel

slegs bevestiging

van nou se vrede

absolute kalmte

mag die son nie weer verskyn nie

Al

Dis siek

Dis vreemd

Dis onnatuurlik

Dis die verkeerde lifeline

Dis reg

Dis my gemaksone

Dis nou

Dis al

 Skreeu

die deur van hoop

is nou gesluit

en skielik is elke kleur en klank

elke sintuig wat ervaar,

verdoof

ontwoord

ontnugter

stomgeslaan -

alles skree ‘n skrille herinnering

wat eggo in my oor:

dawerend breek dit alle

stilte in my hart

Intermediate

from up here

the cracks damage the earth’s skin

man-made interjections

criss-cross a landscape of skull

a bulging three dimensional barren land

far down there

stares back at me

untouchable

unfathomable

unreachable

almost unreal

this earth of dust and ticking time

that we call life

and above

a limitless blue sky

awaits

Ideal dancer

black leather feeds

a black cat

white milk

smokes a business card

called dementia

while shaving simultaneously

smiling at his black goddess

and swearing at the wind

who mysteriously took his dream catcher

How to replace a former dream

Another story of peculiar loss

i love watching you in silence

my mysterious man

all mixed up

trying to escape

cape town

endless waves meeting the shore views to infinity the smell of sea and pine needles the wind on my face and speed under my bum

cape town i love you